


Consider Me Gone

by reigningqueenofwords



Category: Supernatural AU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 20:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18373490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords





	Consider Me Gone

Even after all these years, when I looked at him, my heart skipped a beat. I still loved him with everything I had, but I was started to feel I didn’t matter. After a long day after caring for our three kids, I had always looked forward to him walking through the door. Now it just broke me. I felt like he didn’t see me. I had just finished tucking in our oldest, 8-year-old Annabelle when I heard the door open. Smiling, I kissed her forehead and made my way downstairs.

I was wearing one of Dean’s button up shirts, the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, and a pair of black leggings. My hair was in a loose braid, just like most days. Seeing me in his shirt had always been something that he’d liked. Tonight I barely registered.

After I poured us each a glass of wine, I made my way to the living room to relax with him. Sitting with my leg bent underneath me, I set the wine glasses down. “How was work?” I asked, glancing at him. Dean shrugged, causing my heart to clench. Picking up my glass, I sipped it and sat back, chewing on my lip. “Did you still want to go out Friday?” I asked quietly.

“Going out with the guys.” He said, sounding almost bored, paying more attention to the baseball game.

Taking my glass, I got up and walked out. My barefeet led me towards the carpeted stairs, where I stopped to look my shoulder at him. He gave no indication that he noticed I was gone. “Night, Dean.” All I got back was a half wave.

With tear filled eyes, I quickly made my way to our shared room. I looked around at the pictures. Memories that were full of smiles, laughter, and cherished moments. On the dresser were my three favorite pictures ever- Dean’s first picture with each of the kids. I downed my wine and set it down.

By the time I felt the bed dip, I had cried myself to sleep. I don’t know why I continued to torture myself with the hope that he’d wrap his arm around me like he used to. Now? Now there was a space between us, his back to me.  Squeezing my eyes back shut, I swallowed the pain.

* * *

The next morning, Annabelle squealed when she saw him. “DADDY!” Her voice rang through the house, setting off the other two- 5-year-old Dyson, and 2-year-old Violette.

Dean’s face lit up as he picked her up and kissed her cheek. “Morning, princess.” I watched him with her, falling in love all over again, but feeling like a searing knife was being driven into my chest.

“Morning, babe.” I gave him his cup of coffee and kissed his cheek. “How’s burgers sound for dinner?” No matter how you felt, I refused to let the kids know how hurt I was.

He glanced at me. “Yeah. Sure.” He nodded, and I could almost hear the remainder of my heart shatter on the floor. “Alright, I gotta meet Uncle Sammy for breakfast. Be good for your mom.” He set Annabelle down. “Have a good day in school, Belle.” He kissed her forehead and set  his coffee down as he walked out.

Taking a deep breath, I went back to focusing on the three green eye’d children that meant everything to me. Christmas was only a few weeks away, and that would distract me for a bit, at the very least.

* * *

Dinner had been done for an hour when I heard Dean pull in. Sighing, I pushed my plate away. “Dinner’s cold.” I told him when he walked in.

“What?” He asked, looking confused.

“I asked if you wanted burgers for dinner. You agreed. I made them to be fresh for when you got home after dropping the kids off with my mom for the weekend.” I told him getting up, crossing my arms over my chest. I had even worn what used to be his favorite dress. “I’ve been sitting here, staring at them…for an hour. An hour of wondering what was going on.”

He sighed. “It’s been a long day.”

I shook my head. “I know, it has for me, too. You want me to make a couple fresh burgers, and we can can relax?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Dean groaned, barely even seeing the pain flash across my face.

Walking over to him, I pulled off my rings and shoved them at him. “I don’t know what I did, Dean, to make you hate me.” I started, anger and heartbreak written in my eyes. “I have done nothing but stand by you, and love you. I married you, because my heart is all yours, and I don’t even exist to you. When’s the last time you held me? When’s the last time you held my hand? Kissed me? Fucking LOOKED at me? We don’t talk- about anything!” I scoffed, wiping my cheek. “I have never lied to you. Not once. I’ve always been an open book to you. Since day one. Are you bored? Is there someone else? Did you fall out of love?” I was begging for any kind of answer. No matter how badly it hurt, at least I would know. “Did I do something wrong? Do you want a divorce? Because if this keeps up…you can consider me gone. I’d think about how you want to answer that, and what you want.” I told him a bit harshly as I walked past him.

Dean turned and watched me as I grabbed my keys, hearing me sobbing. His eyes went to the rings in his hand, tears filling his eyes. He was torn. He loved me more than anything, but thought I could do better than some mechanic. I cared for three kids, the house, the bills, doctors, and everything. I deserved the world in his eyes.

Hearing the engine of my car broke him from his trance. His feet carried him out the front door, and down the front walk, snow crunching under his feet. Dean bolted in front of my car, his hands out in front of him, causing me to slam on the breaks.

I got out of the car, jaw clenched. He came around the side and pulled me to his chest. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, baby.” He breathed. “Please, come back inside.” He could feel me shiver, as I hadn’t even bothered grabbing my winter coat.

“Why?” I asked, looking up at him.

He put his forehead against mine. “Because I can’t live without you and our kids. I’ve been so fucking selfish, thinking you deserved more. Everything I can’t give you. I was stupid. Don’t leave me.”

Taking a breath, I kissed him gently.


End file.
